


Gifts and Tolls

by pencilguin



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Birthday, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 15:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21273518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilguin/pseuds/pencilguin
Summary: [spoilers for S2]Hugh returns home to their shared quarters to celebrate Paul's birthday, but he finds him in an unexpectedly somber mood.





	Gifts and Tolls

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Discord, found again recently.  
I had some birthday headcanons for both of them, and I think this made some chronological sense with them when I wrote it. I hope it still does.  
Unbeta'd, sorry for any mistakes.

Hugh finished and filed away his last report and threw a glance at the clock. Seven past the hour. Perfect. His shift was officially over. As if on cue, his relief walked in through the door, ready to start their shift. Hugh quickly briefed them on anything important that had happened during the night and then left sickbay.

Before making his way back to his and Paul’s quarters, he took a small detour past Linus’ lab to pick up something he’d requested a while ago. With this object under his arm, he went on his way, unable to contain the broad smile that had spread on his face at the prospect of returning home.

“I’m home!” he announced warmly as soon as the door had slid open and he’d stepped inside. As he kicked off his boots next to the entrance with little grace (as usual), he noticed that Paul wasn’t scurrying over to greet him as he would have expected. Curiously, he walked into their combined living area, where he found Paul sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, bathed in the cool blue hues of the dimmed light setting, staring out the window in silence with his back to the room.

Hugh paused at the sight, his brows crinkling into a frown. Then he walked over and leaned down to kiss Paul’s cheek.

“Hey love. Happy birthday.”

Paul startled slightly and turned his head to look up at him.

“Hugh, you’re home?”

“Yes, my shift just ended.” Hugh sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. He placed the gift he’d brought on his lap to show it to Paul. “I got this for you from Linus. It’s one of the plants from Terralysium. He and the rest of the science team brought some samples and seeds from there. I thought you’d like this one. It produces a special, bioluminescent oil with a calming scent that circulates through the entire plant with a glowing pulse.”

Paul gingerly reached for the flowerpot, took it from Hugh and looked at the plant. In the low light of the room, its pulsing glow was just visible.

“Thank you, Hugh,” he responded with a quiet voice. “It’s beautiful.”

“I hoped it would help you sleep,” Hugh added with a soft but slightly nervous smile. He tilted his head to get a better look at Paul’s face. Something about it seemed odd. Hugh had noticed him being distant and detached the day before already but thought the mood would pass. He didn’t remember Paul being this morose on his birthday normally. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, putting a hand on Paul’s shoulder.

Paul briefly shook his head, as if to get his bearings.

“I just — sorry, I was going to make us breakfast, but…” His gaze drifted away again, out the window and off towards the distant stars. “I got distracted, I guess.”

Hugh felt a sudden shiver run through Paul’s body that made the flowerpot slip out of his grasp. With his right hand he caught it before it rolled down and put it safely on the bedside table, while simultaneously wrapping his left arm around Paul’s shoulders, before his now free right hand followed suit. “Shh, I’m here,” he whispered into Paul’s ear as Paul’s hands dug into the back of his uniform jacket.

For a while, they sat like this in silence. Then Paul said, “You died on this day.” His voice was muffled against Hugh’s shoulder.

Hugh froze. _Of course._

“Is this why you’re upset?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” came the muffled response. Paul’s fingers in his jacket nervously curled and uncurled. “I didn’t realize at the time, of course,” he continued after a long pause. “I only learned afterwards, when I read through the report on your — on your death…”

Hugh started rubbing calming circles into his back. Paul shifted to rest his head on Hugh’s shoulder more comfortably. He seemed to be gazing out the window again.

“I was there, in sickbay,” Hugh said softly. “Right by your side, like I’d promised. Looking after you, wishing you a happy birthday.” Paul drew a ragged breath, as if he was about to cry. Hugh squeezed him a little tighter. “I didn’t realize it hurt you this much. I guess to me time lost all meaning while I was in the network. I didn’t think about the date when I died. But I should have, I’m sorry. I was wondering why you were being quieter than usual lately.”

Paul shook his head. “I’m not blaming you. It just… kind of overwhelmed me, is all. And then…” He hesitated.

Only then did Hugh realize. _Oh, no._

“The next year, we broke up,” he said quietly, suddenly feeling guilty even though he knew that it had felt like the only right thing to do at the time. Probably was. “I’m sorry, Paul.”

“Me too.”

Hugh let go of the embrace, but held on to Paul’s hands.

“I can’t undo what has happened. And I know I can’t predict what the future has in store for us. But I’ll do all I can to never leave you alone again.” Paul looked up, slowly, his deep blue eyes still sad, but also hopeful. For a moment, Hugh got lost in them again, just like he had the very first time. Then he smiled, and leaned in to softly kiss Paul’s lips.

When they parted, Paul squeezed his hands and leaned his forehead against Hugh’s.

“I love you,” he muttered.

Hugh closed his eyes, smiled. “I love you, too.” When he opened them again, Paul was smiling back at him. Relief washed over him at the sight. “How about we make breakfast together now? Then you can go to work while I sleep, and when you get back, we’ll have the rest of the evening to ourselves? Unless,” he added, his smile evolving into a grin, “you tell me that you feel unfit for work today and need the whole day off.”

Paul chuckled.

“No, it’s okay — thank you, Hugh,” he said sincerely. “I’ve got a couple of things I’d like to get done today. But I’ll make it brief, I promise.” He was grinning now, too. “So I’m afraid you won’t get a lot of sleep. Sorry.”

Hugh laughed. “You’re not! I’m seeing right through you.”

“Good.” With a smile Paul closed his eyes and intertwined their fingers, getting lost in thought for a moment. After opening them again he pressed the back of Hugh’s hand to his lips and planted a kiss on it, then moved off the bed. “Let’s make breakfast. See if you can still change my mind about going to work today.”

Hugh got up and followed him without letting go of his hand.

“Challenge accepted.”


End file.
